


Mother Goose

by FerretShark



Series: Iron Dad and Spider Son Shorts [2]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Animal Rescue, Brief mention of animal euthanasia, Geese, Gen, Peter Parker is bad at naming things, Peter Parker needs a hobby, Precious Peter Parker, Science, Smart Peter Parker, Tony Stark needs a nap, sciencing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22478236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FerretShark/pseuds/FerretShark
Summary: “Oh! Um hey, Mr. Stark.” The kid nervously crosses his arms. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow.”Tony narrows his eyes and doesn’t answer. There’s a cheap playpen in the corner, he takes a couple of steps forward and looks inside. The lone occupant hisses up at him.“I’m sorry,” Peter apologizes for their visitor “He’s like that with new people.”
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Iron Dad and Spider Son Shorts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605568
Comments: 20
Kudos: 288





	Mother Goose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [impravidus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/impravidus/gifts).



> This little writing exercise was born from dialogue prompts. Thank you impravidus!!! It’s a little cracky so don’t take it too seriously.

Tony gets back to the tower just after midnight. He’s just returned from his trip to Tokyo for the International Conference on Renewable and Clean Energy. 

He’d spent entire return flight pouring over the literature and jotting down ideas for more initiatives that SI can undertake in the new year.

He stretches and pops his back. His joints just seem more crackly, the older he gets.

It had been a good trip and a productive one but he was ready to get some decent rest.

“Welcome back, Boss.” Friday greets him as he moves through the main living area.

“Hey Fri. Everything ok?”

“That’s affirmative. Although you should know that Peter Parker is currently downstairs in the lab.”

That gives Tony pause. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Peter Parker is-“

“No, I got it.” He’s heading to the elevator, exactly opposite of the direction he wanted to be going. “Is he ok?”

“Mr. Parker seems to be in good health.”

Tony raises his eyes heavenward in thanks. At least that was good news. He didn’t think he was in any state to be placing stitches right now. 

The doors open on his lab space and nothing looks out of place. A figure in front of the workspace shoots to it’s feet.

It’s definitely Peter, in jeans and a short sleeved gray shirt that says ‘√-1 2^3 ∑ π and it’s was delicious.’

“Oh! Um hey, Mr. Stark.” The kid nervously crosses his arms. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow.”

Tony narrows his eyes and doesn’t answer. There’s a cheap playpen in the corner, he takes a couple of steps forward and looks inside. The lone occupant hisses up at him.

“I’m sorry,” Peter apologizes for their visitor “He’s like that with new people.”

Tony turns and regards him sternly, “please tell me that’s not what I think it is.”

“It’s not?” The kid answers uncertainly.

Ok time to cut the bullshit here.

“Listen, Pete, I’m tired, I’m jet lagged and up until five minutes ago I was looking forward to a long shower and going to bed on my 1800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. Please explain what that,” he stabs a finger at the play pen, “is doing in my lab. You have thirty seconds. Starting now.”

The manic energy that was purely Peter Parker suddenly explodes to the surface. “Ok, ok um before you get mad, hear me out. It all started with the goose that stole my burrito. This is him, by the way.” He gestures to the pen.

There’s a small honk as said goose begins preening.

“That’s not important to the story actually. But anyway, I figured maybe he needed it more than me and I started going to the park and feeding him, a bit.” Peter sounds a little guilty.

Tony nods, not commenting. He decides he’ll hold off until he has the full story. From experience he knows that might take a while.

“Anyway,” Peter continues, “the other day I went back and he was gone! It turns out they were rounding them, the geese, up because they don’t want them near the airports. They’re worried about, you know, bird strikes on airplanes.”

“Miracle on the Hudson,” Tony comments, nodding.

“Yeah, yeah! Exactly. They were, they were going to kill him, Mr. Stark!”

Tony blinks at that. He’s half wondering if maybe he just fell asleep in the back of the car on the way to the tower. Maybe soon he’ll wake up when Happy pulls into the garage and then he can actually go to bed and sleep off this strange dream where Peter Parker is harboring waterfowl in his lab.

There’s a loud honk and flap of wings. There goes that fantasy.

“Who took him?” Tony wonders aloud, almost afraid to ask.

“What?” Peter has been watching him expectantly after the grim pronouncement, but now starts to realize he’s left out some pertinent information. “Well, the government.” The statement ends in a mumble.

Tony blows out a breath, “How’d you get him back?”

The kid clenches his jaw for a second and then looks a little sheepish, “I sort of shamed them into giving them all back.”

Tony blinks, then pulls out his phone and starts typing. Beside him he can feel Peter tensing.

It’s not a national headline,which is why Tony hadn’t been notified, but it is at the top of the local rags. “Spider-Man Takes on USDA over Brookville Park Flock.”

He inhales sharply. This was not good, he wanted Peter off the radar for anything other than sappy goodwill stories. 

“Tell me you did not just…”

“Well,” The kid says stubbornly, folding his arms over his chest. “So what if I did?”

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting to keep his voice level, “So. This is not a good look for you, ‘Spider-Man’.” He quickly drafts an email to Pepper, attaching the article so she can get out ahead of it in the morning. Which, in London, was right about now.

“I couldn’t just let him die.” Peter continues to argue, “He’s like family now.” The kid scratches his elbow.

Tony’s not sure what his face is doing right now. He’s so tired. 

It’s times like these when he can’t stop his mind from going to Howard. Because that’s his pattern on absolutely how NOT to handle things. He starts to choose his words carefully.

“Peter, you can’t-“ 

But Peter sidesteps the argument by dropping defiance and going straight to pleading, 

“Come on, Mr. Stark, please. Please.” The kid’s mouth turns up at the edges, “You’re our only hope.” 

Tony snorts, “A Star Wars reference? That’s low, Parker.”

“So you’ll help me?”

Tony doesn’t bother replying to that. “Ok, what have we got?” He blinks away the fatigue.

“Well, so I was thinking.” Peter cocks his head, slipping into his own thoughts. “Cannonball fire scares them away, but that’s not going to work at an airport. So what if we found a way to create that same effect with ultrasonic sound waves? They’ve had some success with that in Boston.”

“Of course they have.” Tony is nodding. It’s a good idea, a great one. They’re just going to have to figure out how to make it work. His mind is already spinning and he can feel that familiar itch to start building something. 

A honking sigh interrupts his thoughts, then another. It takes him a second to pinpoint the source.

“I’m sorry, is it snoring?”

“Oh yeah, Bur, does that,” Peter looks smitten.

“Burr?” Tony questions, absently “Tell me there’s not an entire flock down at the park named after the cast of Hamilton.”

“No, that’s his uh nickname.” Peter looked fondly at the pen. “I named him after his favorite food.” He looks up expectantly and when Tony doesn’t follow he fills in the gap. “Burritos.”

Tony squeezes his eyes shut and scrubs his hands over his face, pondering for a moment what his life had become, “I need sleep,” he sighs. “Ok let’s take a breather. Get 40 winks and come back to this tomorrow. Let May know you’re spending the weekend here.”

“I kind of already did.” Peter mumbles.

“Ok bedtime. We’ll talk tomorrow. Say goodbye to your feathered friend.” He pushes the Peter into the elevator and follows.

As the doors close he thinks maybe he should try to mute expectations a bit.

“You know, kid. I can’t promise anything. This might not work.”

“I know.” Peter says a little too quickly, ducking his head in agreement. “Just, thanks for helping.”

Tony’s starting to recognize that this is maybe how it is with kids. You can be exhausted, at the end of your mental and physical rope and they show up with things - the most important things. He’s learning how to make space for that in his life 

As they both slouch against the metal wall in sleepy silence, Tony’s thoughts are already racing. If the President can pardon two damn turkeys every year, surely he can work out some kind of Department of Agriculture witness protection for a goose named Burrito.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to impravidus for the prompts!  
> Yes, geese snore! So cute. Bird strikes on planes are a big worry and they do routinely round up and process flocks in Queens:/  
> Ultrasonic sound waves have worked at Boston transportation locations so it’s a viable solution.  
> Peter’s shirt basically says “I ate some pie (I 8 sum Pi) and it was delicious.”  
> Thank you radioactive_storm for the correction! So sorry.  
> He needs even more nerd shirts, I tell you!  
> This also an homage to the dog named ‘Sandwich’ Spider-Man comics story. If you haven’t read it, look it up. So sweet!  
> Also, if you didn’t know, every year the President of the United States pardons two turkeys (instead of eating them) every year for the Thanksgiving holiday in the States. Turkey is a traditional food for the holiday.  
> Un-beta’d. All mistakes are my own.


End file.
